What Is An Effective Way To Reduce Mental Stress

The same situation can make one person afraid and another excited with anticipation.

The person who feels fear experiences high stress. The person who experiences excited anticipation is experiencing eustress.

Why do two people perceive the same situation so differently?

The way they perceive the situation and their ability to deal with it is different.

That perception doesn’t have to be based on reality. The frightened person may be more capable than the person who is excited but their perception of themselves doesn’t reflect reality.

The way to change your stress level is to change your perception of the situation and/or of your ability to handle the situation.

Getting laid off?

A belief that “I’ll find a better job that pays more money quickly.” will generate eager anticipating for the good that is coming your way.

How do you find that thought during the meeting when you learn you’re being laid off? I did it by practicing the belief. During the downturn a decade ago, every time I began to feel any trepidation at all about the state of the economy or my security in my job, I immediately reminded myself the result of my last two layoffs was zero days of unemployment, a new job where I made considerably more money and had a job with more responsibility and more freedom that I liked more than the one I was laid off from.

When the time came, I was biting the inside of my lip to keep from smiling as I thought about the new job making more money that was heading my way. Total time between being advised of a layoff and having it recanted by my employer who promptly asked me to also serve on the board? 30 hours. Oh, and they were going to close the local office so would I mind working from home?

Even though it was the smallest benefit from a layoff, I accepted their offer.

The reason they asked me to stay on was largely influenced by my positive and helpful attitude. If you’re in a state of fear, you can’t project a positive and helpful attitude.

How do you create healthy habits of thought?

Let’s begin with what doesn’t work. If your car stalled on the railroad tracks when a train is barreling toward you and the electrical failure that caused your car to stall is interfering with your ability to open the doors and you never installed that safety device that would help you break the window and escape that was in your stocking last Christmas, nothing is going to help you. If you have a reassuring worldview about death reach for it. If you don’t have one, it won’t matter. It will be over soon.

But if you’ve been practicing positive thoughts for a long time, your mind will reach for one as the train barrels to you.

It’s important to know that stress reduces your cognitive capabilities. If you’re stressed, you won’t remember something that will solve your problem. If you’re less stressed, your chances go up considerably.

Because you’ve been practicing, you remember the brick you have on the floorboard of the back seat. You left it in there when you were shopping for matching bricks for the new flowerbed you were building. You have just enough time to reach for the brick, break the window and leap out of it before the train demolishes your car.

How do you practice?

You practice all the time.

You give people the benefit of the doubt.

You give situations the benefit of the doubt by assuming that even when something doesn’t look like it’s going the way you wanted it to, it will ultimately be better for you.

You look for the silver lining in every situation.

You trust that you are strong and capable.

You use realistic optimism.

You believe that you have the ability to influence the outcomes you experience.

You lean in the direction of love.

You lean in the direction of trust, especially in yourself.

You understand that human behavior is influenced by the person’s emotional state so when someone is rude, you see it is a symptom of their emotional state and not as something personal that you have to react to defensively.

If you want to do something, you trust that you’ll find a way even if you do not currently know how it will be done. You say general things like, “I’ll find away.”

You don’t try to manage every thought you have. You think about 60,000 thoughts a day.

You pay attention to how you feel. When you think a thought that doesn’t feel good, play with it.

Is this thought true?

Is it just true for me or is it true for everyone?

Are there other ways to look at this situation?

Is there a hidden benefit in this situation?

Has anyone ever been in a situation like this and had a happy ending?

Have I ever been in a situation like this and come out on the other side with a happy ending?

Is the bad scenario I’m imagining likely? What else could happen?

Lean in the direction of what feels best.

If you’re hesitant about leaning in a positive direction, don’t be. The rightness of leaning in a positive direction is supported by a significant amount of research.

People who are positively focused on live longer and are more successful. They have healthier relationships, are less likely to divorce, and less likely to develop problems with unhealthy coping strategies like alcohol and drugs.

There’s one caveat. You have to set long-term goals. If you’ve set long-term goals, the bad things won’t draw you in. If you’ve set long-term goals about being healthy, the positive emotions you feel toward a piece of chocolate cake or other treats won’t be as strong as it would be if you hadn’t set long-term goals about your health. Likewise, if you set long-term goals to have a happy marriage, your reaction to a sexy person who isn’t your spouse will not be the same as it would have been if you hadn’t set that personal goal and committed yourself to be a good spouse.

You’ll get better at it as time goes by but it feels better every time.

How you feel is a reflection of how stressed you feel. When you perceive situations as something you are capable of handling, your stress level declines and you feel better.

Illustrated By:-Jeanine Joy